Dealing with Unsolicited Parenting Advice - Part 2
July 14, 2020
Hopefully you had a chance to watch the video last week on how to discern between good parenting advice and that which isn’t so good. Having older parents you look up to and who you can count on for advice, encouragement, and help is a great thing. A Godly thing.
But there are times when we are made to doubt our abilities as parents; times when people insert themselves into your family when they shouldn’t, times when criticism and ‘advice’ are given freely, yet unjustifiably, and times when you let the seeds of doubt sprout in your head and heart because of something you do (or don’t do). It happens to all of us. That’s just one of the non-perks of parenting. How you deal with these situations, however, makes all the difference in the world both for you and for your child.
So . . . When you are criticized for how you parent, consider the motive behind the criticism.
If it really is out of love and concern, acknowledge it and explain that you don’t see things that way. If it’s out of jealousy or pettiness, ignore it, pray for confidence and courage, and go on. *If you are under continual or constant scrutiny (by a mother, friend, mother in-law, etc.), don’t run from the situation or ignore it. Pray about it. Ask God to give you the words to say and pray that God will touch the heart and mind of the other person, too. Let the person know you respect them, and remind them that God gave these children to you to raise and you are doing so according to the way you and your spouse think best. Ask God to give you a loving way to tell them that the way they are voicing their thoughts is damaging your relationship.
*Acknowledge that you just might be wrong or have something to learn in some cases. Again, this will often depend on the spirit in which you are spoken to.
Think about what was said, pray about it, and let God speak to you. Ultimately, the choice is yours, but as long as you are following God’s voice and His Word in regards to loving, teaching, and disciplining your child, you can lay down each night knowing you’ve done well that day.
Remember . . . "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." Colossians 3:14.
When you love your children as Christ loves us, you are doing all you can.
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